Day 11 (or: To Write Love on Her Arms)

Day 11 musings:

Note to kids who filled my house with food and laughter and music last night: You are incredible, and I admire the heck out of you. Make noise, make joy, make your voices heard, make your mark on the world and make us proud!

Note to self: You know it’s a good party when there are Twinkies and Doritos left over to snack on the next day.

Note to cat: Don’t think I don’t see you hiding behind the curtain in the bedroom, waiting for me to leave the room so you can have the freshly made bed all to yourself.

Note to weatherman: Stop predicting rain. I’ve got yard things to do.

Note to cat again: You’d better vacate. I’m about to run the vacuum. It might eat your tail.

Note to bad relationship: I’m too much work? Really? I let you ignore me for a week. Not a week and a half, that pissed me off, but a week was pretty okay. And that’s too much work? You so don’t deserve me. At all.

Note to self again: Figure out how to block numbers on the cell phone.

I’m finding it easier to be happy instead of grumpy and sad. Today. Wednesday I thought seriously about jabbing my eyes out with a plastic fork, but today I see some joy in life. Even if it’s soggy, wet, rainy joy. There are things to remember when we’re feeling like the world is at an end (she says, stepping up on soapbox and giving an “ahem” in her best preachy voice). Things like girlfriends who would never say you’re a waste of time, and Elevated Ice Cream’s Swiss Orange Chocolate Chip ice cream, and furry cat bodies, and little boys who love you, and a world that is full of “yes” in so many ways – even in the face of seemingly doom-filled “no.”

There are new babies (thank you, dear ladies, for enduring 9 months of indecent bodily functions, several hours of agonizing pain, milk stains, diaper fillings and horrendous bed-time battles) and there are people in the world who write blogs like this: yesandyes.org (because Yes is more fun than No!). And there are people in the world who start foundations like this To Write Love On Her Arms (if you do nothing else today, read this story and vision and be moved). And there are people in the world who care enough to pay attention to the Science of Happiness and how we can all become scientists (from my favorite folks again, Yes! Magazine). It can’t be all bad if these things are in the world, can it? Even if they occupy the same space as earthquakes and floods and wars and poverty and corruption.

I love my friends dearly. I love my friends who hurt even more dearly. I love my friends who hurt themselves more than I can possibly say, and today, Day 11 of One Thousand Days, I write love on my arm for you. And hold you in my heart all day and every day.

11 down, 989 to go.

Day 10 (or: We're into the double digits, lets eat!)

Today marks the first milestone for One Thousand Days. I’m into the double digits! Which means that I’ve got 990 days left, or that I’ve accomplished %1 of my commitment. Cool. I’ve been a bit more than worried (as you might have been able to tell from previous posts) that I’d poop out and this would be a terrible flop and Holly would be beating me up for being lame. But in those 10 days, I’ve done good for my family, for the earth, for my town, for my soul, for the kiddos I work with and for my friends. I’ve been able to hone in on what I’ll be doing in these One Thousand Days (make small commitments, long term commitments, commitments to others as well as to myself), and most importantly, I’ve been able to stay away from the bad relationship. For the most part. He’s managed to sneak back in through the cracks (cell phone – couldn’t block him), but I’m kept from behaving badly by remembering the positive things that I’m doing, and being responsible to them. Constantly.

On my 10th day, I can’t help thinking about what it will look like on my 990th day. Will life be significantly different? Will the good that I’m doing have any impact on anything other than my own life? Will it even have impact in my own life? Where will I be in 990 days? My son will be a teenager in 9th grade. My yard will be established, the trees might be taller than the house and the gardens will be producing food and flowers. I will have passed my 40th birthday, and my 20-year high school reunion. My mother will be 77. Will I be a college graduate? Will I still be overweight? How many more wrinkles will I grow? And will someone who deserves me love me?

On Day 10 of One Thousand Days, I acknowledge my milestone and look forward to what comes. And I throw a potluck for volunteer staff and board of directors of the Boiler Room, the youth coffee-house and resource center where I’m working right now. This potluck wasn’t my idea, it was our volunteer coordinator’s idea, and a GOOD one! These volunteers give their blood (doing WAY more than One Thousand Days of good), sweat and tears to a place that is home to them and to many others. They deserve so very much more than just a potluck. But then again, there will be MY spaghetti! And I make a mean mean spaghetti. Yum.

10 down, 990 to go.

Day 9 (or: Stop putting off the things that make you happy!)

There are a couple of elements of One Thousand Days that I’ve been contemplating for a few moments. And I realize that I’ll likely be tweaking things as I roll along with all this merry do-gooding.

Keeping track of commitments
I started thinking about this when observing the Eco Sabbath: I can do One Thousand things, and they can be all distinct things, and they can be one time things, but really, some things that are good deserve a little more attention. For instance, I could observe one Eco Sabbath, but wouldn’t it be better if I observed the Eco Sabbath every Sunday? So day 4 should have included a larger commitment? Also, I could choose to not eat meat for a day, but in order for that kind of thing to make any kind of difference, it’s a choice that would be better made for the long term.

I realize now that an element of these One Thousand Days will be to note whether a Day is a stand alone event, or whether it’s a long term commitment. And if it’s a long term commitment, I should make some notes on progress, shouldn’t I? I can do that, right? Wow, this is starting to become complicated, but I like it!

Who benefits from One Thousand Days?
Another issue: is One Thousand Days only about doing good for “others”? Yesterday, in dealing with crisis at work, my colleague and I acknowledged that it was important to put our own emergency air tanks on first, so that we could then help others with theirs. Metaphorically speaking. So an issue such as meat eating, may also benefit me. Which could be construed as selfishly good. But I think that’s ok. And I’m going to do it.

But today? Day 9 of One Thousand Days is about others. Two others, to be precise. One is my lovely Aunt Claudia, who I love and admire, and haven’t talked to in about a year and a half. I know that she’s been hoping to hear from me, and I have not been a very good niece. Today I called and invited her to tea. And the other, a friend who I love just about as much as I love any of my friends, and who I haven’t spent any appreciable time with in about 10 years, since our 10 year high school reunion. Joyfully, she’s moved back to town, and I get to re-connect with her! Today is about re-connecting, and it feels good. I hope it feels as good to those who I’m re-connecting with!

Day 9 down, 991 to go.

Day 8 (or: Planting the seeds of tomorrow's good today)

Yesterday sucked. And I mean it. I can just hear Holly shaking her head and saying “Cara…Cara. Didn’t I tell you that you couldn’t be lame?” Well I was. And I didn’t even wait until Day 63 to do it. Nope. Straight out of the gate. Not even into the double digits yet. But you know what? If yesterday sucked, then today was Armageddon. But the good news is that while everything fell apart around me, I wasn’t as lame in my attempts at good today as I was yesterday.

So here’s my thought. I’m on the hook now for allowing Day Lame of One Thousand Days to happen. If I had a wasted day of “good” yesterday, I’d better make up for it today. Right? Glad you agree. And, if I do say so myself, I think I came up with a fairly decent one.

There are all sorts of good reasons for gardening. Exercise, satisfaction in caring for and growing a living thing, calming the nerves, communing with nature, absorbing the vitamin D. Myself? I just love digging into the dirt and making things emerge from the earth. Incredibly satisfying to us obsessive compulsives. So satisfying that I’ve become a bit obsessed (duh), and I watch for new plants in the same way that a contemporary might watch for new fashion. But today I’m not thinking about my own gardens, I’m thinking of plants on the community scale.

I’d like to share two of my favorite public gardens. The first is the garden at my son’s new school. Funded at the start through the work of a former co-worker, whose mind for all things good is fairly un-equaled (remind me to tell you some day of the scholarship program he started in Jefferson County. For peace.). The garden is a part of a new program for Jefferson County schools and has grown (groan…pardon the pun, I couldn’t resist) into an innovative recycling program and wonderful, educational, and nutritious endeavor.

But my all time favorite public garden is purely one of the most beautiful and incredible and simple triumphs of human accomplishments. An abandoned, blighted, and dejected highline rail in New York City, which has been re-claimed by nature with the help of us clever (but vile, somehow, for creating the waste and devastation in the first place) humans.

Now, it's no Highline, but I live next door to a City owned property, which has collected rusted bits and bobs and plastic toys and overgrown tweedy stubs left in the haste of partially clearing the area. The City put a public trail through the area, but the trail is forlorn and the buzzing of the nearby power sub-station overwhelms what could be a lovely public space. So today, day 8 of One Thousand Days, I did two things. First, I went to the Jefferson County Conservation District and ordered a dozen cedar trees, a dozen western hemlocks, a dozen madronas, a dozen mock oranges and several other native shrubs and trees to be planted in march when the plant sale is completed. And because I had a deep need to do something physically lasting, something that I could count as an accomplishment for good, TODAY, I bought sweet pea seeds and planted them in the sunny areas of the lot. Joy.

Terrible day 8 down, managed to make up for day 7, and 992 to go.

Day 7 (or: I may have to do 1001 days)

Sometimes the days may not be conducive to doing good?  I wonder.  Because certainly today didn't seem to be.  Today was full of drama, intensity, overwhelming good and overwhelming bad.  It was wonderful and heartbreaking.  And also mundane (when I was cleaning the kitchen, making the beds and doing the laundry).  I should have done my wonderful thing before leaving for work today.  What was I thinking?  I wasn't.  The day ended in a dramatic moment with a young person, and I couldn't help.  Not at all.  Not even a little bit.  In fact I seemed to have hurt the situation.  No good.

So this is Day 7 of One Thousand Days, and today, because my day was terrible-on-toast, the something good comes from my sons friend, Carinna.  Tomorrow my boy's starting a new school.  A school where he'll be in a small classroom and one of his new classmates is a long-time family friend who he went to kindergarten with.  When her mother told her to "be nice, and show him around, and just remember back to your days in Kindergarten and behave accordingly", Carinna responded: "Oh!  You mean I should punch him in the stomach and tell him I can fly!"  Thank you Carinna for doing todays good thing.  Engaging levity. 

7 down, 993 to go.  Or 994.  Today may be a do-over.

Day 6 (or: Shhhhh! Don’t tell anyone, this is easier than it looks!)

Day 5 update. Note to self: When Observing an Eco Sabbath, make sure that you haven’t been sick in bed for four days while the house is falling apart around you. Cleaning is an interesting project when you have no electricity. Especially when cleaning laundry on which cats have taken over (what is it about the laundry pile that makes it seem like an ideal toilet?). For the most part, we were appliance/lights/heaters/car/phone free yesterday. Except for the washing machine. And there were some very lovely side effects, too. If I hadn’t had to spend 5 hours sweeping, dusting, mopping, cleaning, it would have been a very restful day. It began with a candle-lit bath, which was utterly relaxing and indulgent. Yes, I know – the hot water heater. But I think I can make an exception for the water. It might be another experiment for one of my Days to completely deprive the family. What would it be like to have NO resources in our lives? Boggles the brain.  And probably worth at least a days worth of devotion from me and mine.  At least.

And since I spent all day yesterday cleaning, why not just continue the trend and share it with others (do you detect the overwhelming joy, er, sarcasm?) Day 6 of One Thousand Days, thank goodness I work for a non-profit youth resource center and coffee house (the best, least expensive cup of coffee in town), The Boiler Room. It makes doing good things so easy. And when I say easy, I mean to say readily available. Nothing about my work is easy, but I digress. Today, along with several kids, and the board member who dreamed it up, I cleaned up the block where the business “lives” in our little downtown. Found: crazy colorful broken glass behind the art gallery, a portion of a dollar bill (why would someone rip up a dollar bill?), several “Broken Spoke” stickers (the new bike store in town – nobody told them stickers were a bad idea) tagging the transit stop, a Frisbee, and 10 pounds of cigarette butts (oddly enough, the bulk of which were NOT located around or near the teen hangout. Hmmm.)

Tonight I’m crawling home at 7:45 p.m., and I’m overwhelmed, and I’m tired and a little dizzy still, and I’m really glad that I wrote most of this in the morning before I went to work. Why does Day 6 feel like Day 554? I have to take this minute to acknowledge that I really want to call the bad relationship up and just be cuddled for a while. Because in truth, none of these good things have cuddled me yet. I can’t imagine why not. I’m really a neat person. Oh, there’s a bit of a warm and fuzzy going on, but nothing I would call truly comforting. Which is such a selfish and terrible thing to say. I probably should have saved that for Day 328. But it is Monday, after all, and I am human. On Mondays. Between 7:42 and 7:58 p.m.

6 down, 994 to go.

Day 5 (or: Ouch, that’s my foot!)

Day 5 is a no brainer. It’s Sunday. Sabbath, if you will. The day of rest and prayer (for those of you who actually observe – not me, of course, I’m a heathen). Strict observence of the Jewish Sabath is the inspiration for day 5, and also for suggestion number 3 of Colin Bevin’s article in Yes! magazine: 10 Ways to Change Your Life (not just your lightbulbs).

So, for Day 5 (the entire day) of One Thousand Days, I will: “OBSERVE AN ECO-SABBATH. For one day or afternoon or even one hour a week, don’t buy anything, don’t use any machines, don’t switch on anything electric, don’t cook, don’t answer your phone, and, in general, don’t use any resources. In other words, for this regular period, give yourself and the planet a break. Every hour per week that you live no impact cuts your carbon emissions by 0.6 percent annually. Commit to four hours per week, that’s 2.4 percent; do it for a whole day each week to cut your impact by 14.4 percent a year.”

It may be dark in the house, so we’ll be bumping into each other a lot, and this may cause more mayhem than it’s worth, but we’ll give it our level best. And when my son steps on my foot (remind me to tell you how my feet are magnets for all things heavy and painful), I’ll try my hardest to be nice. Really. And, GULP, no computer!

5 down, 995 to go