Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Day 50 (Or: It only took 1,648 days...)

Wondering what happened to Mr. Wrong?  As my morning begins to unfold, and the call of the siren Internet pulls me and my ever constant mug-o-coffee to the keyboard, I know I am.  Wondering, that is.  And you know what?  I think, after 1,648 grueling days, I've fiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnaaaaaaalllly managed to wipe the Bad Relationship from my life. 

"Now what", you ask?  Thinking that there won't be any more hilarious bloggy admissions of midnight smooching, and elicit emails to confess. Lamenting the possibility that you won't be able to shake your head at the ridiculous and grasping antics of a (very cute and funny) spurned lover, as she struggles to find love and acceptance in all the wrong places.  Right now, you're leaning over your morning coffee and you're wondering if life on One Thousand Days will ever be the same, and you're (admit it) a little bit concerned. 

You may even be thinking:  "But, darling...Who will you think about when you've got nothing else to think about? Who will you exchange late night naughty text messages with?  Who will leave the lingering smell of wood and soap on your pillow? Who will move that huge piece of concrete out of your driveway?"

Well, since you asked, I'll tell you:  I'll think about what vegan and sugar free (mildly disgusting, but tasty once you get past the gag factor) melange to cook for dinner, I'll write funny and scathing Facebook status updates, I'll enjoy not being allergic to my own pillow and I'll bury the piece of concrete under a foot of pebbles - you'll never even know it was there.  Hah! 

Now, who's up for fixing me up with a friend?  I've got to fuel this blog somehow, or it'll be boring me-me-me ness for the next 950 days.  This is what I'm looking for:

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